Social foundations will always be one of the bases of the development of psychology, counseling and education. Its implications in the life of a person and in the evolution of civilization and humankind are inevitable. We are shaped by the kind of family we have, the school where we were formally educated, the kind of community we have, the culture of our country, the religious beliefs that we hold, and on goes the list.
As a product of all these myself, I began to realize some things about myself. Fore mostly, I am generally a friendly person but I choose my friends. When I meet new people, I talk to them, testing the waters and trying to find some grounds of commonality. I try to make the person feel that I am interested to know him/her better, but not to a point that I might strike them as intrusive. The people that I meet or have to interact with due to uncontrollable situations, I try my best to be civil and respectful, regardless of the person’s appearance, age and position. I believe that it is important to treat every person as humanely as possible. For a person to become a friend, it would take some time—I think that it is important that we both earn the trust, respect and confidence of each other.
Feelings of respect and awe usually come to me when I face authority figures. (And also nervousness, as I’ve mentioned in number 3, in some situations). These are my initial emotions. But I have to admit that when I am informed of a negative underside of those authorities, my feelings of awe usually waver, although the respect still remains.
I also think that people ought to be more sensitive, responsible for their actions and godly. I do not really expect these of everyone but I do expect them from the people that I am close to. I guess it stems from my belief that “same feathers flock together”. I feel that the way they are may reflect who I am. When my expectations are not met, I usually feel disappointed. It may even lead to a certain distancing of myself from that person(s). I’ve already experienced this but I have to admit that after some time, I am able to accept the person’s shortcomings (on my expectations, anyway).And soon after this acceptance, I am able to rebuild my fellowship with them. In the same manner as before? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes the gap has become too wide that the rebuilt fellowship may still have some distance.
I have always given importance to the persons who are near to my heart. Depending on the level of closeness, they have influence over my actions, decisions and way of thinking. Also, I seek for their opinion, company and help.
The best part of my personality, in relation to my significant others, is my ability to be loyal to them. I noticed that once a person has been attached to me, they can remain to be despite being physically distant. There’s always the effort to keep in touch and still be part of each other’s lives—not growing apart despite not growing together. Especially if that person and I are like-minded and we hold the same or almost-same values, beliefs and faith. I consider it the best part because my loyalty becomes the reason why I always try to be there for them—pray for them, empathize with them and help them out in times of their need. I think this may be why my closes friends include even those I have been friends with since grade school.
The worst part of my relationship with these people is probably that I have high expectations from them. I expect them to be the persons I have grown fond of. I guess it’s an “exchange” for my loyalty. Yes, I have experienced being disappointed by friends who have done something one time or another—something incongruent with the person I know them to be (especially if the deed is something I consider immoral). Although most have resulted to the maintenance of a good friendship, there are a few that has resulted to gaps between us. I see this as the worst part of me because I feel I’m being too judgmental and righteous (and it’s not like I meet their expectations myself, I think). Though I make it a point to see them as persons to be respected, I cannot seem to pick up from where we left off. The part of me that is scared of unpleasant surprises cannot tolerate incongruence and uncertainty especially on those persons whom I consider significant.
These parts of me can be helpful or unhelpful in relationships with my future clients. My loyalty can push me to persevere and be determined in helping a client work out and resolve her dilemma. This would mean that I can be zealous in facilitating betterment for them, which of course should also be preceded by willingness, cooperation and hard work on the part of the client. This way, the client can feel that she is being trusted. And that I, as the counselor, believe that she is capable of positive change and can reach the goals she has set.
But I would not like it if clients lie to me, or say one thing and do another. I feel that I cannot help and work with persons who can be deceptive, even to those who are willing to help them. I would like clients to be honest with me because the truth could be the best way to find a resolution. Making stories, excuses and denying facts are major turn-offs. If anything like this happens in real life, I would have to tell my client that she will be referred to another counselor because our relationship cannot be helpful if the truth is covered.
I honestly admit that I do not believe I can be a counselor for life. I’m not even sure if I have the abilities to become a “professional helper”. I fear that I do not have the skills and may cause harm to my clients.
Although I really love helping others out, I am afraid of disclosures and strong emotions from others which I may not be able to handle. There are still times when it occurs to me that it might probably be a lot safer to be that “therapeutic friend” than to be the “therapeutic professional helper”.
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